


the promise

by 10vesick



Series: love (it's merely a madness) [5]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Best Friends, Exes, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Promises, johnny is still in love with ten, one of those we'll marry in 10 years if we're still single, ten is too but he's too stubborn to admit it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-10
Updated: 2019-06-10
Packaged: 2020-04-24 04:56:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,324
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19166260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/10vesick/pseuds/10vesick
Summary: “Tennie,” his friend says, careful, soft. When he speaks next, it’s almost like he’s cautious. “... Would you ever marry me?”Ten takes a deep breath. “... In 10 years, maybe.”





	the promise

**Author's Note:**

> this is part of a series that complement [my current social media AU](https://twitter.com/xuxirolled/status/1117937984714702855) in case you want for this to make more sense, i'd recommend reading the AU first ;;

 

_November 28th, 2009_

_2:47 AM_

 

Ten yawns, and it makes Johnny do so as well.

They’re sitting on Johnny’s bed, backs against the wall, as the third movie of the night continues playing on the computer, nearly reaching its ending.

It’s a thing they’ve been doing for a while now— staying inside on a Friday night, up until late, either watching movies or just talking and drinking. It’s nice, to be together like this, sharing thoughts and opinions and experiences as they come to mind. Sometimes their roommates join, Taeyong and Yuta always making Ten want to throw up with their cheesiness and hands all over the other.

Tonight, though, he and his best friend are alone.

Unfortunately for Ten, it had been Johnny’s turn to choose the movies, and up until now he’s done nothing but make the younger watch different versions of the same generic romcom movie formula— the heroine, lost and conflicted, finding herself and solving all her problems after finally meeting _the one_ (or worse yet, after finally realizing he’s always been there).

Ten has had to bite his tongue not to ask for a change of genre.

As the story wraps up with a dream-like wedding between the protagonist and her childhood friend, Ten feels Johnny’s strong arm pull him closer, and he’s suddenly aware of the way he’s nested on the other’s chest. Ten’s ear is pressed right over Johnny’s heart, and he can hear it beating twice as fast as it probably should.

He decides to ignore it.

Once the ending credits start rolling on the screen, the younger reaches a hand up to rub at his eyes. “That movie was _terrible_.”

Johnny gasps dramatically, trying to sound offended. “Please tell me I did _not_ just hear that.”

“I can repeat it if you want me to,” Ten teases, a mocking smile creeping up his lips. He shuffles on the bed until he’s sitting straight and freed from Johnny’s embrace, and the other looks almost disappointed, but Ten decides to ignore this, too.

His best friend sighs. “What part of it was terrible, according to you?”

“Everything. _Especially_ the ending. I mean, what happened afterwards? Did she get the promotion she was aiming for? Did she clear things up with her sister? Did she ever get to make that trip she always dreamed of?” Ten lists his questions, holding up each of his fingers as he does so. Johnny looks at him with something in his eyes Ten can only recognize as adoration. It makes his stomach turn. “There’s so much more I wanted to know. And all we got to see was the dumb wedding.”

Johnny furrows his brow. “Excuse you, the dumb wedding is the best ending this movie could’ve had.”

“Right,” Ten scoffs. “It was boring, way too cheesy, and her dress was ugly. What am I supposed to take from it?”

The older shrugs, pursing his lips momentarily. “The feeling of hope, maybe.”

“Hope for what?”

“Love.”

It takes all of Ten’s willpower for his eyes not to roll all the way into the back of his skull, but he’s not as good at preventing words from slipping through his lips. “You can’t possibly think that’s all that matters.”

Johnny shrugs. “I know it’s not. I just think it’s…”

“What, a need?” Ten almost mocks. “We don’t need love. I know I certainly don’t.”

Almost immediately he feels like punching himself.

It’s insensitive of him to say that, and Ten knows.

It’s insensitive because he’s aware that he broke up with Johnny just a little over three weeks ago, and even though things seem to have gone back to way they are meant to, there’s still guilt. Guilt, and something else, spreads through Ten’s chest every time he looks at Johnny, every time he squishes his cheeks, holds his hand, cuddles him at night.

There’s guilt, and something else, pricking into his heart every time he continues treating him as if they were dating, even though they’re not. Not anymore. But Ten can’t stop himself, can’t keep his hands off of him, and he continues trying to convince himself that he’s fine with it, Johnny’s fine with it.

At least he seems to be.

At least he’s good at pretending he is.

Johnny simply huffs in response, the sound bringing Ten back from his thoughts. “I was gonna say _addition_ . There are certainly more important things in life, and we don’t _need_ love. But it’s an addition, and it sure is great to have it,” he presses the space key on his laptop so the movie stops playing. Without the sappy soundtrack, silence seeps in between them, late night peacefulness making Johnny’s voice drop to a whisper. “Love is support, given without a question. Blind trust, a solemn compromise... It’s safety. Being comfortable, even when no words are being spoken. Who doesn’t like that?”

Ten swallows, not knowing what to say.

He’s suddenly aware of the silence absorbing them, the inches of space between their hands over the sheets. Johnny’s eyes are caramel tinted under the faint glow the laptop screen casts on him, and there’s a tacit plead pooling on them, inviting Ten to dive inside.

But the younger shakes his head, bringing himself back before it’s too late.

“I didn’t know Nicholas Sparks was in the building,” he jokes to break the silence, moving his eyes away from Johnny’s.

His best friend laughs, a sound that seems dragged out by force, but Ten takes it nonetheless.

As Johnny goes back to his laptop to search for the movie they’ll watch next, Ten reaches to the side to take the plastic Care Bears cup over Johnny’s bedside table. He downs the pink wine that’s inside (poured there as they don’t have any stemware in campus), and he grimaces after the heavily perfumed liquid burns down his throat.

“Where did you buy this, again?” Ten shivers at the bitter taste, trying to break the slight undertone of tension that stains the air between them.

“I don’t know. I stole it from Yuta’s stash,” Johnny says mindlessly. He takes the cup from Ten’s hands only to realize it’s empty.

“Well, it’s the shittiest wine I’ve ever tasted.”

“And yet, you finished the entire bottle.”

Ten nudges him, a small smile appearing on his lips. He gets rid of the cup and drags himself closer to his best friend, resting his chin on the other’s shoulder as he watches him search through the Netflix catalogue of bad romcoms.

Johnny turns his head a little to look at his friend, and Ten can feel him tense up as he realizes how close their faces are. The older does his best not to stare at his rose-tinted lips, but Ten definitely notices.

No matter how much he wants to, this look is something he can’t decide to ignore.

“Are you choosing another movie or what?” Ten questions, but it instead of bringing his friend back from his trance, it does the exact opposite.

Ten’s breath smells of wine, of the strong flowery scent it had. He’s wearing Johnny’s pullover, and it slides off his shoulder. His hair is messy, and his lips are parted, and he’s so _so_ beautiful, and his lips are so _so_ pink, Johnny feels way more intoxicated by his presence than by the wine he’d been drinking.

If they were still dating, Johnny would have already taken a taste of those lips.

But they aren’t, and he knows it, and he knows that’s not what Ten wants.

So he doesn’t.

Johnny swallows before he can answer. “I, um, I don’t think so,” he turns back towards the screen, and the younger knows that, if the lights were on, he could be able to see a faint blush on Johnny’s cheeks. “I’m a little sleepy. Let’s just lie down.”

The other nods, scooting back from the familiar yet alienated position. He watches as Johnny turns off the device, silently, and Ten just _knows_ something sparked a thought inside his best friend’s mind.

An idea pops into his head, something to get the other one to talk.

“John?”

“Hm?”

“Head over heels, then?”

Johnny looks taken by surprise. A soft smile appears slowly on his lips and, for a second, it’s like he goes back to being just a friend.

“Head over heels,” he accepts.

 

* * *

 

They take position the way the always do: lying down next to each other, upside down, and with their heads hanging at the edge of the bed. And they begin to think.

“When was the first time you saw me doing this?” Johnny asks, his voice stained with amusement.

Ten hums for a second. “Probably, like, a _week_ after I met you.”

He’d come into this very same dorm room, looking for the cute Literature major he’d talked to at the welcome party someone in campus had held. Ten had knocked the door and heard the taller’s sweet voice inviting him in, only to find him hanging off his bed like he’d died.

Johnny laughs. “Right. You just stood there at the doorway and asked _What are you doing?_ ”

“And you really just blurted _I’m head over heels,_ ” Ten smiles. “I almost ran off the room.”

“Excuse you, I may have been upside down, but I could _definitely_ see you blushing.”

The younger shakes his head, but he knows it’s true.

The first time he’d heard Johnny say that, it was like his breath had been stolen. Had this guy really fallen in love with Ten after having been drunkenly talking about peanut butter and jelly sandwiches?

But then he’d asked what that meant and, somehow, the explanation made much more sense.

“Tell me the story again,” Ten nudges his friend. “Of how this started.”

He likes to hear it, because of the amount of love and affection that overflows from his friend’s voice every time he talks about it. Every time he remembers.

A sad smile appears on Johnny’s face. He takes a deep breath before he can begin. “I was 9 years old, probably? I had a crush on a girl in my class and I kept thinking about it. _This_ is my thinking position. Something about the blood rushing to my head makes my thoughts clearer.”

“Also gives you a brain hemorrhage,” the younger adds, joking but also being serious. He never lets Johnny hang like this for too long.

“Also that, yes,” his friend scoffs. “Anyways. My mom walked in and saw me like this, and she just went _You’re head over heels._ I was so scared. I thought she’d read my mind or something. I still think she did.”

Ten laughs a little, completely believing him, but he quickly covers his mouth not to make any sound. He knows a feeling warming Johnny’s heart every time he talks about his mom, and Ten doesn’t want him to stop. It keeps his friend from missing her too much.

“But then she explained why she said it,” the older continues. “Head over heels, although meaning to be deeply interested  or committed in something, when first coined it wasn’t used that way. It referred to being temporarily the wrong way up. You know, to describe things that weren’t in their usual state.”

“Like a kid hanging upside down over his bed,” Ten adds.

“Exactly. That’s why my mom said that. So that’s what we call this. To be head over heels, everytime we want to think. Because honestly, the expression itself makes little sense. Where do you usually keep your head? It’s normally over our heels! It originated in the 14th century as _heels over head_ , actually. Meaning to do a cartwheel or a somersault.”

Ten already knows this story. He’s heard it at least a hundred times. But every time, it makes him smile fondly. As if it were his own memory. “You literature majors are something else.”

The other sighs. “Tell me about it. No idiom has ever been the same. Thanks, mother.”

They laugh together, a small sound that takes over the air for a second, before they fall back to silence. It’s way too late, and both are sleepy and a little drunk, but being together like this always feels nice. Always feels right.

“I miss her,” Johnny’s the one to break the silence, his voice a little hoarse. “I talked to her yesterday, but I already want to call her again.”

“How is she feeling?” Ten asks, and there’s honest concern on his voice.

His friend takes a second to answer. “She says she’s feeling better. Her health has improved a little, I mean, she’s able to get out of the house now,” Johnny bites the inside of his bottom lip before continuing. “I just wish I was there with her, you know?”

Ten doesn’t say anything. He simply looks blindly for Johnny’s hand, and he takes it. The other appreciates the gesture.

“She asked about you, by the way.”

The younger turns to look at his friend, but his eyes are closed. He gathers the courage to ask what’s running through his mind. “Is she…? Does she…? Did you tell her that…?”

“That we broke up?” Johnny asks. His voice remains neutral. “Yeah, I told her. It took her by surprise, but she said she was glad we were still friends. You know she loves you.”

Ten’s head begins to hurt. Whether it’s because of the position he’s in, or because of the idea of Mrs. Seo knowing he’d broken up with her son, he doesn’t know. Either way, he’s terrified to find out more.

“I probably shouldn’t tell you this, but I’m too sleepy— or maybe too drunk—  to care,” his friend continues speaking with an embarrassed tone. “But she said she’d always thought we’d end up getting married.”

The younger’s short of breath when he talks. “What?”

Johnny finally opens his eyes. He turns towards Ten to look at him, silky hair hanging. “Yeah. Because of the way I always talk to her about you. She kept telling me I’d found _the one._ You know, that we’d end up just like the protagonists in one of those movies we just watched,” he scoffs, as if the thought alone is something Ten should find funny. “She wasn’t wrong, though. You _are_ the one.”

“Johnny…”

The older laughs for a second. Ten knows it’s fake. “Sorry. I like teasing you. It makes it easier, don’t you think?”

Easier for him to accept Ten doesn’t love him.

Easier for Ten to convince himself he actually doesn’t.

“There’s more than just one person out there for you,” the younger offers, his voice small. He’s embarrassed of even saying it.

“I know, I know,” Johnny sighs. His eyes go back to stare at nothing in front of him. “I just wish I find them soon. I’m not getting any younger.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. You’re 18.”

“Yeah, but you know I’d like to marry soon. To enjoy my time with my partner, make them happy for as long as I can. Grow together, share things together… It’d be nice.”

Ten knows, he knows that’s what Johnny wants. That’s what he’s always dreamed of, what he always talks about, it’s nothing new. But to hear him talk about it with such passion, with such hope for the future... It always makes Ten’s heart shrink.

“You’ll have it,” the younger whispers, and he hopes for the conversation to be over.

He doesn’t expect the question Johnny asks next. “Well, what about you?”

Ten feels his heart skip a beat.

“What about me?”

“Wouldn’t you like to get married?”

“... I don’t know.”

Johnny hums. “But, like, what if you find _that_ someone. Someone that makes you feel so incredibly happy, you never even thought that was possible? Someone you feel comfortable with, someone you don’t ever want to leave. Someone that, everytime you’re with them, time seems to stop,” he sighs. “Someone you know you love.”

Something inside Then cracks.

Something disconnects his brain from his mouth, and it’s terrifying. It’s terrifying the second he hears words come out from his lips— immediate, without thinking.

“I love you.”

Johnny’s head turns again.

He looks at Ten, with those sad eyes he’s come to know, and even though the room is dark and he can’t really make out his features, he knows he’s looking at him the way he always does.

Kind. Tender. Understanding.

“But you don’t love me in that way, Tennie,” Johnny says, but it’s not angry, it’s not an accusation. It’s simply a fact. “You’re not going to marry me.”

Ten stays silent.

He looks back at Johnny, without saying anything. He swallows. He wonders if Johnny hear how fast his heart is beating. He knows he can definitely hear how heavy his breath has become.

“Tennie,” his friend says, careful, soft. When he speaks next, it’s almost like he’s cautious. “... Would you ever marry me?”

Ten takes a deep breath. “... In 10 years, maybe.”

It’s an instant.

It’s an instant what it takes for Johnny to suddenly sit straight on the bed, like he’s been quickly pulled up.

Ten follows him, slowly rising, the blood on his head coming back down to where it’s supposed to be. He sits, and the second his eyes fall on Johnny, he knows he’s said something very wrong.

… Or maybe something very right.

“Swear,” his friend says.

Ten frowns. “What are you…?”

“Swear,” Johnny searches for his friend’s eyes, uttermost determination spilling from his own. He reaches out a hand to take Ten’s, and he locks their pinkies together the way kids do. “That in 10 years, when we’re both 28, if we haven’t found anyone, if we haven’t married…” he takes a deep breath, lets it out shakily. “We marry each other.”

The sentence hangs loose in the air, words floating around them like a feather falling from the sky. The realization hits slow, in contrast to how fast Ten’s heart begins to pound.

“Johnny, I…”

He looks at him with affliction, and reality hits the other like a train.

Johnny lets their hands fall over their laps, dead, like all adrenaline has been drained from his body.

And then he shakes his head. “Sorry, I…” he bites the insides of his lips. “I got carried away. I know you were joking. Please forget about it, I don’t know why I… I don’t… I shouldn’t have—”

“I swear.”

Johnny’s breathing stops.

He raises his head, slowly, scared to wake up from the dream he seems to have slipped into. There’s moonlight entering through the window and it’s faint, but it’s enough to outline the side of Ten’s face.

His lashes, his nose, the way his mouth moves when he speaks again.

“I swear. I’ll marry you in 10 years— if we’re still available,” Ten’s voice is shaky, but it doesn’t seem to be lying. “You just have to promise me one thing, John.”

Johnny stares, awaiting.

“You won’t wait for me,” his friend says, but it sounds more like a plead. His eyes are glassy under the moonshine, but there’s no signs of tears on his cheeks. “If you find someone else, if you fall in love… You do what your heart tells you to. Don’t wait for me, because I don’t know what’s going to happen in the future.”

He puts his hand up again, pinky raised. An invitation he doesn’t know if the other will take.

When Johnny locks their pinkies together again, both realize they’re in no dream.

Firmly, determinedly, Johnny nods.

“I promise,” he says, and that’s how it’s done.

A promise, so simple, but that makes both time and Ten’s heart come to a stop.

A promise, so simple, but that sparks a fire inside his heart that scares him slightly, for he knows they’ll get to fulfill it.

A promise, that both know will become true.

In 10 years, that’s for sure.


End file.
